greetingz. welcome to the most uneventful part of . i'm the reverend. i'm a poet, and i have a shytload of good poetry you can read . i have also recently started posting my own high rezolution desktop wallpaperz. i also love to post my desktop screenshots. be aware, though, i spell deviously. thanks for viziting.



'hey jezus, won't you drop your healing blood, from your wrists, down onto me'.
'but this life waz so sincere, what the phuk am i doing here?'.

the newz: i hate posting small journalz, but that's really all i can do for now, cauze vulturez are circling my body... i mean... fascist nazi scumphuks are watching my page.

so this iz just a short note to say two thingz...

one. i'm sorry i haven't been doing much on da for a while, and probly won't be doing much for a little while longer. there'z a couple thingz that have been discouraging me from being on da. one iz, i can't write anything, cauze people are reading my shyt who i don't want to read my shyt. and two, i got a really shytty comment that i have yet to respond to, but when i do, i will post it in this journal.

two. i'm turning thirtyone on september twentysix. with every birthday that passez, i still cannot believe i'm still alive. i sometimez tell people, i should've died when i waz twentythree. i waz so depressed that year. but i survived, and i'm still here. and now i have two bæutiphul children. so, ever since then, i've been calling it my 'blue september'. it's a very special day for me.

there are quite a few thingz that i wish i could say here, but i can't. so, i'll paste in here a couple little thoughts i wrote, about a month ago.

i waz watching this movie, called 'van wilder, freshman year'. it waz a bit of a kick in the military'z tiny nuts. especially knowing that the first name of most of the military men in my family iz 'wilder'. i phuking hate that name. so, you should watch this movie. anywayz, i had a thought, while watching it. in the movie, this college girl iz sitting down having dinner in a restaurant with her military father, who'z father waz in the military. they alwayz love to bark about tradition, cauze they're afraid to break the mold, or take a different path. anywayz, he wanted hiz son to be in the military, but he had a daughter, so he wanted her to be a military man. what a phuking pig. first, he asked her if she liked skool, and she started answering him, and he interrupts her, like they alwayz do, cauze they don't give a shyt how you're doing, they just ask cauze it's small talk, and they don't know how to talk 'big', unless it's about war, or rulez, or tradition, or discipline. same old shyt. every military man in my family waz the exact same way. they ask how you're doing, and when you start answering, they cut you off. anywayz, a minute later, this other military man (the dean of the college) walks up to their table, and sayz something, and the father answered, 'well, hopefully she'll climb a bit higher up the ladder than i did'. and that got me thinking. (what doezn't?). van wilder, in this movie, said 'tradition iz something that keeps greeting card companiez in buziness'. well, i took it a little further. tradition iz what keeps the military around, and keeps old people in cuntrol of the rest of us. it's what makes us obey thoze old fascists. 'respect your elderz'. obey your parents, your grandparents, and be like them, and join the army, and climb the 'ladder'. well, if you haven't yet noticed, some of us have been rebelling for a while now. we're getting tired of 'tradition', we're getting syck of the military, and doing the same thing every generation. we're starting to see what's wrong with this picture. so i'm saying you've gotta break the mold. phuk your parents, phuk your grandparents, phuk the rulez, and phuk tradition. start walking your own path. turn around, and walk the other way, in many different wayz. leave them behind, leave your old life behind, and start doing something no one else haz ever done. phuk the military. phuk order. that's what i'm teaching my kidz. don't listen to authority figurez, cauze they're alwayz wrong. don't do what your grandparents did, or what they tell you to do. 'children are suppozed to be seen and not heard'. phuk that. 'don't do what i do, but what i tell you to do'. ever heard that before? that meanz they're ashamed of what they're doing, and they want you to do the same thing, but without all the mistakes they made. what they don't want you to know, though, iz, they made the same mistakes their parents made. they joined the army. they know, deep down inside, that it waz a big mistake, but they're afraid of anything else, they're afraid to do anything different. they're afraid of alot of shyt, cauze they're too dumb to see anything new, or to think for themselvez, they're scared of the people who they allow to have authority over them. and the only way to 'climb the ladder', to have less people with authority over them, iz to do what they're told by thoze people. phuk authority. phuk tradition. and phuk all theze fearful moronz. 'ooh, i better not disobey, cauze god will strike me with lightning'. if their god waz really that vengeful, this world would've been obliterated æonz ago. but it's their ancestor'z liez that keep them fearful of god. like sodom and gomorrah, or noah'z ark, all thoze storiez about god'z wrath, written by men with the dezire for authority, and the dezire to keep everyone scared, and doing what they're told. that's why religion and the military go so well together. they're both stuck on tradition. doing the same thing, generation after generation, to keep humanity from evolving. so tell your parents to go phuk themselvez, and start thinking for yourself. pave your own path, with your dreamz and hopes. give birth to an urge and dezire to do something completely different. and soon this hierarchy will crumble and fall. ' praize the lord and pass the ammunition'. 'grab your gunz and your biblez, gentlemen, and let's go kill some people who believe differently than us'. something iz terribly wrong with that way of thinking. it's not really even 'thinking', it's complete blindness and ignorance. and people believe this shyt so desperately, that they'll kill anyone who triez to change their mindz. so, we have to realize that they're hopeless, they're lost cauzez, and we just have to worry about ourselvez, and keep ourselvez alive and evolving, and teach our children to think for themselvez, and allow them to evolve. we wish that we could burn the ladder, and let everyone on the ladder fall back to reality, but, sadly, it doezn't work that way. we just have to leave them behind, and walk away.

also... i waz watching a video about machine head on youtube, and someone commented on it, and said, 'yuh fuck the emo bands!' (first of all, they can't spell for shyt, what's 'yuh'???). now, i've heard the term 'emo' before, and to my understanding, it meanz 'emotional'. uh... so... we're not suppozed to be emotional? humanz aren't suppozed to be emotional? emotionz are a bad thing? we're just suppozed to be shiny happy people? calm, complacent, docile cattle? robots without emotionz? iz that it? iz this some 'movement' the government started? since when iz being emotional a bad thing? i must have missed a meeting. i can picture all theze dumb, robotik cowardz walking around, afraid to show any emotionz, becauze they might be made phun of. if you're that scared of what people think of you, maybe you should put a gun in your mouth and become a real pussy, instead of being a fake coward all your life. what the phuk iz wrong with theze people? (i'll finish this thought later).

so, thank you for being patient with me. they can't get rid of me that eazily. i'm still alive.

update: read this artikle. it's very clear to me that the makerz of computerz are still catering to moronz that, still, and we're almost in 2010, have no clue how to uze their computerz (like when haven't they catered to moronz?). "Their wide-screen formats are also ideal for watching high-definition television and DVD movies"... well, if that's all you're doing on a computer, then you don't dezerve to have a phuking computer. if you still don't even know what the windowz explorer (not internet explorer) iz, then give your computer to someone who can really uze it. if all you're doing iz playing gamez and watching moviez, you're a moron. learn something.

in other newz: i'm still alive. i've got three poemz now that have yet to be posted, 'headwound', 'from the crevice of a broken heart', and 'silk lined hell'. when i finally post theze, you'll know that we're ok. i'm still being discouraged from going on da, but the tape on my mouth iz quickly being chewed thru. i finally replied to some comments and favz, but i still haven't even read the bad comment yet, but i intend to sometime soon, and i'll post it here. for now, though, just understand that the writer of that comment iz really that far up hiz own ass. i'm also becoming a cardcarrying member of bill hicks' ' people who hate people' party. so, pleaze, be patient with me. you'll soon see the return of the most furious mutherphuker to ever walk this planet. dimebag uzed to have a hat that said 'warhead' on it. i alwayz thought that waz very appropriate. so, i want to have someone sew that onto my beanie. god'z scizzorz are slowly cutting the stringz above me. let's just hope it's not hiz cruel joke. only the strong survive.

update: i have two more poemz to post here when the air clearz. 'dear god', and 'cauze i never cared'. if you would like to read any of theze poemz, just send me a note. if you are concerned about what's going on, note me. if you are fighting cps, or know someone who iz, note me. have a groovy day.